Admin/ July 24, 2018/

Talking About Your Sexual Health

What is an appropriate age for sex?

We often get asked what is an appropriate age for sex. Our answer is that only each individual knows when they are ready for sex but here are some things to consider that might help:

  • I can talk to my partner honestly, even when it’s awkward.sexual health
  • I can talk to my partner about the activity – dating, kissing, sex, etc. – that I want to share with them.
  • I know my partner will respect my wishes if I say “no” to any activity at any point.
  • I feel like I can trust my partner, and that they can trust me.
  • I’ve told my partner about the kinds of sex that I am and am not interested in having right now.
  • I’m comfortable with the idea that dating, kissing or sex may not be “Hollywood perfect.” I know there could be an awkward moment, funny noises and unexpected fluids, etc.
  • I know how sexually transmitted infections are passed from person to person.
  • I know where to get safer sex tools like condoms and dental dams. I also know how to use them.
  • I’ve talked about STI testing with my partner. We both know when the other person was last tested and what their results were.
  • I’ve thought about what I would do if my safer sex precautions didn’t work and I became infected with an STI.
  • I can get a method of birth control, or my partner can, and we know how to use it properly.
  • I know what sexual activities put me or my partner at a risk of pregnancy.
  • I’ve thought about what I would do if my birth control method failed and I or my partner became pregnant.
  • I know where to go for sexual health care in Ottawa.
  • I’ve thought about why I want to date, kiss or have sex and I know that it’s something I want to do for me. I’m not doing it to make my partner love me, save our relationship or impress my friends.
  • I don’t have any strong religious, cultural, or family beliefs that tell me that I shouldn’t be dating, kissing, or having sex right now.
  • I have at least one person in my life – a friend, a family member, or some other trusted person – who cares about me and who I can talk to honestly about dating, kissing or sex.
  • I know that kissing, dating, sex, and love can co-exist, but also that they are not the same things.
  • I know the basics of my own sexual anatomy.
  • I know the basics of my partner’s sexual anatomy.
  • I know that my partner cares about how I feel.
  • I listen to my partner, and I feel like they listen to me.

Adapted from Scarleteen

 

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